The Department of Free

A great new poem from Zombie.... #ocra #hhrs #sgp

The Department of Free

Years ago, a wiser man
than you or I devised a plan
to dole out goods at zero cost
to those of us whose jobs were lost.

It seemed benign, so nice and kind
the plan grew to include the blind,
the old the lame then you and me,
and they called this plan
The Department of Free.

It started as a helping hand
to needy folks across the land,
so those who could not make ends meet
would not be forced out on the street.

Unemployment benefits
were just a start, because now it’s
free food, free homes, free surgery,
rebates, bailouts, loans — all free.

Now half of us just stand in line
all day long and gripe and whine
about the stuff we feel we’re owed
the list of which has growed and growed.

The line wends hither, the line wends yon,
and by and by it comes upon
a door above which we can see
those magic words:
Department of Free.

Once inside: a shopping spree
of endless handouts: it’s all free!
Drunken on entitlement
we grab a meal, a house, a stent.

The other half? We’re all employed!
Hearing this, you’re overjoyed
to know that at least some of us
have jobs and never cause a fuss.

But one last thing you ought to know,
our economic Alamo:
The place where we all work, you see,
is in the accursed Department of Free!

I push papers,
while he counts beans.
She helps seniors
and they help teens.
It takes a village to raise a child;
it takes a nation to run hog-wild.

Paul pays Peter, and Peter pays Paul,
yet neither makes anything at all.
Round and round the money goes
but where it comes from no one knows.

It all runs out eventually,
can’t simulate prosperity.
The shopping spree was just a dream,
a baseless potlatch Ponzi scheme.

With nothing left to give away,
The Department of Free itself must say,
“We’re all laid off, the end is near.
There’s no point working, even here.”

The last employed man not offshore
has just one more remaining chore:
Switch off the lights
and turn the key
in the broke
Department of Free.

From Medicare and Medicaid
came Medicould and Medishould
now Medimust and we’ve gone bust
we’re trust-fund kids without a trust.

Delusion has a Thin Skin

OK, this is just plain weird....



First, the President's delusional rant at the protesters that “We’re funding global AIDS and the other side is not!”

Last we checked Mr President, the Bush Administration increased planned spending by $48 Billion, but your administration is not picking up that gauntlet. Who knew your teleprompter was so disingenuous...

Second, isn't it a little strange to use the phrases "Fund Global AIDS" and "We’re funding global AIDS..." I know that they mean "Spend more $$ to defeat Global AIDS" and "We’re spending Billion$ to defeat global AIDS...", but what you technically said said was "Spend more $$ to help spread Global AIDS" and "We’re funding the spread of global AIDS..."

Perhaps this is the accepted language of the fight against AIDS, but to my ear, it just sounds weird.

H/T: Gateway Pundit

When Pigs Fly

Culturally-insensitive vandalism using a common food item might now be considered a hate crime:

Bacon attack on an American mosque: prank or hate crime?

Strips of bacon spelling 'PIG' and 'CHUMP' were found in front of a South Carolina mosque Sunday. In post-9/11 America, pork – which is unclean in Islam – is a primary form of anti-Muslim protest.

So I guess this means Pink Floyd should avoid booking reunion concerts in stadiums where Muslims might be nearby?



And really CS Monitor...does bacon lying on a sidewalk in a organized fashion constitute a "Bacon Attack"?? It is like you are trying to push a certain agenda with an inflammatory headline....nah, that couldn't be!

Obama Admin As 1970's Computer Game

This brings back memories from the dusty synapses in the back of my brain...as it was the forefront of computer gaming in my youth....

And now Iowahawk has given it a much needed upgraded for modern times....Colossal Beltway Adventure!

WELCOME TO ADVENTURE! WOULD YOU LIKE INSTRUCTIONS?

>YES

YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN BELTWAY FOREST, WHERE SOME HAVE FOUND TREASURES OF GOLD ALTHOUGH SOME HAVE ENTERED AND NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN. MAGIC IS SAID TO WORK IN THE FOREST. I WILL BE YOUR EYES AND HANDS. DIRECT ME WITH SIMPLE COMMANDS.

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. ON DESK THERE IS A BUST OF CHURCHILL.

YOU HAVE A CONGRESS.

YOU HAVE A SENATE.

YOU HAVE A MEDIA.

YOU HAVE A TELEPROMPTER.

YOU HAVE A MILITARY.

YOU HAVE A BIG JET.

YOU HAVE $3 TRILLION OF GOLD.

YOU HAVE 82% APPROVAL HEALTH.

THERE IS 7.2% UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE FOREST.

YOU HAVE A RACE CARD.

YOU HAVE INAUGURAL PARTY LEFTOVERS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>EAT LEFTOVERS

>RETURN BUST

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. ON DESK THERE IS NO BUST OF CHURCHILL. THERE ARE NO MORE LEFTOVERS. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>GIVE SPEECH

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOUR APPROVAL HEALTH IS 81%. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>NAME TEAM

ENTER TEAM NAMES. GIVE THEM WEAPONS AND SPECIAL POWERS SEPARATED BY COMMA. WHEN YOU ARE DONE PRESS CTL-T

>BIDEN, BRAIN
>HILLARY, RESET BUTTON
>HOLDER, LAW
>GEITHNER, GOLD
>RAHM, CURSES
>JARRETT, FASHION
>AXELROD, MUSTACHE
>SEBELIUS, HEALTH
>LAHOOD, LIGHT RAIL
>CULVER, FOOD
>CHU, AIR
>GOOLSBY, BLACK MAGICK
>GIBBS, MOUTH
>DUNN, FEMALE MOUTH
^T

DO YOU WANT CZARS?

>Y

ENTER CZAR NAMES SEPARATED BY COMMA. WHEN YOU ARE DONE PRESS CTL-T

>JONES, JENNINGS, HOLBROOK, CROWLEY, RATTNER, MONTGOMERY, BERSIN, HAYES, ROSS, STERN, ROSENTHAL, VOLKER, BROWNER, DUBOIS, DAVIS, FRIED, DEPARLE, KUNDRA, BLAIR, MITCHELL, FEINBERG, SUNSTEIN, HOLDREN, DEVANEY, GRATION, ALLISON, CHOPRA, BRENNAN, CARRION, CARTER, SAMORE

I'M SORRY. THAT IS AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>IGNORE CONSTITUTION

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. YOU ARE BORED. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>GIVE RESET BUTTON TO RUSSIA, BUY CAR COMPANIES

Read the whole, lengthy thing. Well worth your weekend time....

Praise the Blogger and Pass the Ammunition!

Well, Glenn Reynolds is always warning that it is a bad idea to pick on bloggers....



...now it is not even safe to do from a long distance!

MTV, Obama Astroturf A Town Hall

From ABC via Drudge:

BACKSTAGE: Actors Recruited For MTV Obama Town Hall; 'Casting Call'...

When President Obama sits down for his MTV town hall this Thursday, the audience of young people who will ask him questions will have been gathered by a casting call.

According to the casting call for the event from talent agency Backstage.com, first reported by National Review Online, the company requests applications for the event, asking what issues the person is “passionate about,” requiring a “short description of your political views,” and also asks for a recent photo.

First reaction....how far he has fallen...

Second reaction...aspiring conservatives, please check your acting careers at the door. Any casting call application that requires you to state a "description of your political views" probably equates to what we in the military call "self-initiated elimination" for those conservatives who want to get into the Hollywood scene...

Hands at 10 & 2...and no talking!

So America, is this the Change® that you voted for? We are pleased to announce that the Nanny State has called 'Shotgun' in your car....

"U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood says he believes motorists are distracted by any use of mobile phones while driving, including hands-free calls, as his department begins research that may lead him to push for a ban.

LaHood, whose campaign against texting and making calls while driving has led to restrictions in 30 states, says his concerns extend to vehicle information and entertainment systems such as Ford Motor Co.’s Sync and General Motors Co.’s OnStar.

“I don’t want people talking on phones, having them up to their ear or texting while they’re driving,” LaHood said in an interview this week. “We need a lot better research on other distractions,” including Bluetooth-enabled hands-free calls and the in-car systems, he said."

Now I am all for reasonable restrictions on things like texting while driving, and even hand-held phones. But when you have a high-level federal official saying things like "I don't want people doing x", then you can be reasonably assured that things have gone too far, and the Nanny State is about to be a pain in your ass

"LaHood, 64, said even hands-free phone conversations are a “cognitive distraction.” Calling for a ban on hands-free communications is a possible outcome of research under way at the Transportation Department’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration into all driver distractions, Olivia Alair, a department spokeswoman, said."

Gee thanks, Ray. While we are at it, lets ban some other “cognitive distractions." First, lets get rid of the radio. We can't have all that rock'n'roll, or right wing talk radio hate distracting people. Or perhaps you could mandate that radio can only be set to the soothing dulcet tones of NPR. Second, no more kids in the car. Boy are they a distraction! And while we are on that track, let s ban *ALL* passengers. One-person SMART Cars with one-station radios for everyone! Just think of all the gas & lives we will save.....but remember to keep those hands at 10 & 2!

The best part of all this, is that it seems Mr. LaHood believes he has unilateral authority to act on his grand designs.

"LaHood plans to meet with the heads of all makers of cars sold in the U.S. to discuss their cooperation in limiting distracted driving, he said in the Oct. 5 interview. He said he’s not yet recommending restrictions on hands-free phone calls and didn’t say when he might make a decision.....The Transportation Department’s powers to push further limits on distracted driving range from exhortations to setting standards backed by the federal government’s financial clout."

I will certainly be waiting on pins and needle for LaHood to make his edict. In the meantime I will be buying futures in Buggy Whips, since it seems we have reached the apex of government-allowable transportation technology, and are sliding backwards all in the name of safety...

Harvard and Unreal Expectations

Instapundit complains about academic standards at Harvard:

RIGOR: Only 23% of Classes at Harvard Have a Final Exam.

I don't see the problem here...I mean isn't making in to Harvard the accomplishment that really matters? At this rate you could give away the diploma with the acceptance letter, but then Harvard wouldn't get to collect 4-5 years of dowry payments....

Exams only introduce risk to the continuing legend of Harvard's superior academics. It is almost like asking the Editor of the Harvard Law Review to actually write articles. Why provide evidence to ruin the illusion?